Month: September 2020

And God Wept

/ howardshapiro / 15 Comments

The first Presidential Debate is now over, and I hope it is the last. If I were Joe Biden, I would have seriously considered walking off the stage. But that of course has its own dangers and people would spin it as cowardice or lack of gumption. The whole thing was a disgrace and an embarrassment to this country. I wanted someone in the audio booth to shut off their mikes every time they went over their two minutes or every time, they interrupted each other. I especially wanted one mike shut off more than the other.

This morning on one of my list serves, I was recommended to a sermon by Rabbi Ammi Hirsch of the Stephen S Wise Free Synagogue in New York. It was called, “And God Weeps.” He taught a lesson of the dangers inherent in our democracy right now from a Talmudic source which describes God weeping, every day, because people who can do not learn from each other, because people who can’t try and succeed in making Torah (Wisdom) a part of their lives and because of a domineering leader. It is worth watching Rabbi Hirsch though spoiler alert it is 40 plus minutes long. (Even a little bit long for me.)

Because people do not learn: I am saddened that we as a nation has succumbed to this level of baseness. Our current President has no regard for the truth or for the Torah of science.  A domineering leader: Our current President cares only for himself and will do/say anything to push his own agenda of self-aggrandizement. And that includes catering to the racists and anti-Semites on the far right and don’t be so smug to think that there are no racists on the left. They just use different language: The language of BDS and anti-Zionism.

On Yom Kippur morning, Rabbi Salkin reminded me and and all of us that In Jewish tradition, the Talmud records that after a heated debate between two different Rabbis, God came down and declared: Elu V’Elu – both these opinions are the words of the Living God. I am not sure God would have said that after last night. But this is what Elu V’Elu means to me: Maybe God lives in our willingness to listen to each other. Maybe God lives in our willingness to consider the truths we consider inviolate from a different point of view. Maybe God lives in our ability to see the Divine presence even in those with whom we disagree. God did not live in last night’s debate.

Last night God wept.

Memories & A Little Light

/ howardshapiro / 15 Comments

The Yahrzeit candle is burning on the kitchen counter. It is the only light in the room on this pre-dawn morning. I remember when these candles of memory were taller and wider, and my Aunt Molly used to save them for drinking glasses. Aunt Molly was the queen of candles. She experienced many losses in her life and on Yom Kippur there was a tray full of these flickering lights, each one lit with a tear and a sigh. Her greatest loss was her daughter Barbara, who according to family legend, died on the operating table having an appendectomy when the hospital lost power during the 1938 Hurricane. (Hurricanes weren’t named until 1950).

We don’t grieve like Aunt Molly anymore. (Although in the Australian series, “A Place To Call Home”, that Eileen and I are addicted to Sarah lies down on her husband’s grave to talk and connect with him.) As a kid, visiting my grandparents’ graves with Aunt Molly I remember how they used to have to hold her up as she went to throw herself down wailing, “my Barbara”.

Morning has broken (I know: “like the first morning…”). The candle on the counter still flickers and the memory of my mother-in-law hovers to be inscribed and internalized in our goings and comings. Bea wasn’t a great sleeper, and neither was I. After we met at the refrigerator door in the middle of the night, she learned to wear a bathrobe as she came from her bedroom. We got to know each other there: she with her cornflakes, me with whatever I could scrounge. She was her Hebrew name: B’rachah – meaning blessing.

I am not sure what I think these compact candles do. The author of Proverbs said that “the human soul is the light (Hebrew: candle) of God.” I don’t know what that meant back then. I am not sure I know what it means now. I do know that last night when we lit the candle, Eileen brought her mother up to date with the goings and comings of the family.  She told her “I wish you could have lived longer to see the beauty and the joy of the last 30 years.” There is nothing terribly rational about that but there is everything that is true on so many levels. Life is about memories and we strive to make them sweet and meaningful. It’s been a tough few months to do that. And so my candle whispers:

To making new and better memories in the New Year: Shana Tovah

“Morning has broken

Like the first morning;

Blackbird has spoken

Like the first bird.

Praise for the singing

Praise for the morning

Praise for them springing fresh from the word.”

(Cat Stevens)

To making new memories in the New Year: Shana Tovah

On Hold

/ howardshapiro / 19 Comments

What do you do when you are on hold? You listen to horrible music interrupted by an announcement that informs you: “All specialists are assisting other customers. Please hold for the next available specialist.” At the beginning of this process I was informed that the average wait time is 50 minutes or more. Thanks Chase. At least Apple lets you choose the music you would like to listen to. (or none – even better.) Too bad Chase’s website doesn’t address my issue.

This is what I am doing on hold. I decided I needed some fortitude so I picked out a nice California Red.(Now this is going to sound like I know what I am talking about.) Nothing too fancy medium of body, not too acidic, but one that will hold up to this drivel I am listening to. You know what I like about the wine I am savoring? It has this beautiful almost pink color that compliments the dark red at the edge of the glass. I would take a picture of it, but I am afraid I will lose my place in line.

This is what I am doing on hold. I am resolving to go back to the poetry course with Billy Collins  I bought from Masterclass. I left off during our shut down and I am going to see if I can motivate myself to continue and maybe even complete it. In chapter three he teaches, “There is no chronology involved in poetry. You can go anywhere. You can fly.” I like that. It reminds me of what happens when I try to meditate. My mind is like a poem. It goes anywhere and everywhere and if I am successful slips away to a place deep inside.

This is what I am doing on hold. I am thinking about you and this unplugged blog. Of course, it really isn’t unplugged. It is connected in a hopefully important sense to the wires in my brain and being and to the question of purpose and meaning. I often ask myself: Who am I writing this blog for and why?  I always find it interesting that the more “political” I get the more comments I receive. So, I find myself torn between moments like this where we share a slice of life together and causes to which I am committed. But ultimately I’ve decided: this is all about the connections we forge with ourselves and each other. Isn’t everything?