And So I Begin (Again)

/ howardshapiro

Eileen does not do digital fluidly. So, we have a drawer full of recipes she has printed from any number of internet sources. Yesterday I decided that I would begin to enter them into a recipe file on my desktop. I began by typing them. Then I figured out that I could take a picture of them with my phone and air drop them to my computer. That works with those recipes that are one pagers. I don’t know how to combine multi-page recipes into one doc. We all have our limitations, that’s for sure.

Now it is amazing to me that I have decided to go back to blogging and begin with food. Well, it is Passover and for some reason I am always hungry. And believe me I eat plenty of Matzah: Matzah with whipped butter and salt; matzah with thick strawberry jam; gluten free onion matzah with just about anything that isn’t sweet. Left over Sephardic charoset (the kind that is pasty) as candy. And those dark chocolate covered apricots they sell in Costco…. Don’t ask.

Which brings me back to why I am beginning again with food. Cause I can’t handle the world. There is a reason why some of my sunflowers hangs their heads in shame. They can’t look. It is too painful. The weight of the nightly news oppresses. Better to look away and find other distractions. I am guessing that if there are any of you who are still willing to read my “unplugged”, you are disappointed.

I am also. I don’t believe we have the luxury or a right to “look away”. Isn’t that the sin of all good people? And I’ve made my donations to Ukraine and HIAS and candidates I believe in; and I wear a mask on a plane; and I got my fourth booster; and I follow the news both morning and night; ….

But this is just almost too much. Maybe I’m just old. And it is easier to do wordle than to engage the world. Yea…. I agree. I need a more up lifting ending. But maybe you begin by recognizing where you are. And I am ashamed of the state of my mind, the state of my state and the state of our world. And I don’t see myself as depressed. I feel I am just stating what is real.

Enough. Tomorrow is a new day and a new dawn and the possibility of new blessings.

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23 thoughts on “And So I Begin (Again)”

  1. Howard, you are not alone in your feelings. I think many of us can relate to what you have written in your blog, and are appreciative that we are not alone. There is just so much we can digest, and now our governor is adding to the injustices. Thank you for eloquently putting my thoughts into your words.

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  2. Dear Howard, There are many of us who feel the weight of (and are discouraged by) all the bad things that are happening in our world. For me, the source of hope is my belief that the God of Israel, the God of Love, will eventually, somehow, some way, cause good win out over evil. Can’t prove it, but it’s the hope that keeps me going. And in the meantiime, I feel we are called to do what little we can control and be Instruments of God’s Shalom and Love here as best we can. Love and Blessings, Tom

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  3. Dear Howard- I was so glad to see your return blog- Looking forward to reading your future articles! I hope you and Eileen and the family are doing well! Wishing you a Chag Sameach.

    All my best, Melissa Arden

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  4. Your predicament reminds me of our days at Brandeis. I was an announcer at the school radio station, WBRS 100.1 on your f.m. dial. You could hear it all over campus if the wind was blowing from the west and the ambient temperature was above 98.6 degrees.
    In the control room was a sing that said;
    “I was feeling sad and blue until I saw a sign that said ‘smile, things could be worse’. So I smiled
    and sure enough, things got worse.
    SUCK IT UP!

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  5. Hello Howard (and Eileen)…The sunflower, always my favorite flower, is the state flower of Kansas where Cliff is from and the national flower of Ukraine which my father and his family left in 1922 at age 5 due to pogroms, a town north of Kyiv, where all the Jews were killed in 1944 by the Nazis and over the past month has now been destroyed by the Russian invasion. Ukraine’s sunflowers must surely be hanging their heads. And though we have hung a Ukraine flag outside the house in solidarity with Ukraine, like many of the world’s problems, I feel fairly helplessWe just came back from a one week cruise on which we celebrated Passover. As the ship’s rabbi tested Covid positive even though asymptomatic right before he was to board the ship he could not join the cruise; I volunteered to lead the Passover services which I did.  While my old rabbi as chaplain skills of yesteryear are pretty rusty they worked out okay. Half of the group of 15 folks in attendance were Israeli and that added a most memorable and interesting touch to the Seder. The head of security for the ship, also an Israeli, was at the Seder….so that may have discouraged any terrorists from joining the Seder or even being a “guest” on board the ship. After a few days on the cruise I could see why my mother enjoyed assisted living.  No grocery schlepping, no prepping meals, no cleaning up while being waited on while we also did a lot of reading, walking, swimming, being entertained, looking at the magnificent aqua water and yes, eating… though gratefully in moderation. The ship accommodated 3,000, though only 1,600 on board, so lots of room and with all staff and guests fully vaccinated and we (and all staff and some guests) wearing masks everywhere, we felt pretty safe. Ship’s staff was excellent. Best to you, Eileen and your family as we end Passover and daily, with spring a time for renewal, pray for an end to the madness which Ukraine is facing.Love jim for jim and cliff Jim SugarmanCertified Life Coach/CEO Mentor/Nonprofit Consultant JimmieSugarman@gmail.com 561-762-3818As you can be anything in the world, be kind. 

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  9. As a Holocaust teacher a long time ago I taught “never again” almost as an abstract never really thinking that there would be an “again” that I would witness. Thank you for your descriptions of the world we are now living in. It is to hard for me to put in to words what you wrote. How can we help? What can we do? There is not a newsreel nowonce a week during the war to end all wars. There are about 7 news channels giving constant “breaking news” that can’t be denied. It’s hard to even eat a matzo that one could complain about when so many have no food at all. On the other hand s little with whipped butter might not be a bad idea!?!

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  11. Rabbi
    thank you for bringing back your blog and for beginning with this very difficult topic. You expressed so many of the same emotions and frustrations we all have. We live in very trying times and your willingness to share your thoughts with us is much appreciated
    .

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  13. Dear Rabbi, This is so much similar to what you said when you last did services at TI: “I’m glad I’m retired.” You sum up what most of my friends and I are thinking– we’re tired, we’re more pessimistic than optimistic most days. And yet, we’re Reform Jews who believe in ‘tikkun olam’, so we contribute to causes, polititicians, make calls for voter registration, and occasionally still go on protest marches if only to answer our grandchildren when they ask ‘what did you do during the pandemic/war/threat to democracy.’ Your words are always so spot on! Best always, Karen Davis

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