For the life of me I cannot cut a mango. Rachel has tried to show me the difference between the soft side of the mango and the stone side. She says to start with the fuller soft side away from the pit. Another of my mango teachers peels it and then cuts the fruit into cute little cubes. Me, I stand over the sink and usually lose half the flesh to the drain but do manage to really enjoy sucking the pit. When they are ripe, they are among my favorite fruit.

Here’s an understatement – it goes to show me that I can’t do everything, and I don’t know everything, and I can’t experience everything. I certainly didn’t know the word “fomo” until today. I think it’s an anacronym and not a new word but what do I know? Fomo is the fear of missing out. It is probably out of fomo that I watched the Republican Debate the other night. I was shocked that I made it to the end and even hung in there for a few minutes of the post show.

I probably shouldn’t be writing this because it is bound to make someone reading it angry/upset/disappointed. But here’s a take. I give the Fox moderators credit for asking some of the hard questions. Even if they lost control too much of the time. I give Ron DeSantis credit for diverting the question about climate change. It is too bad because it never really got answered and given the extreme weather of this summer it certainly needs at least (to say the least) a serious discussion. I give Vivek credit for the being the largest personality of the stage – not the best, not the most qualified but he knew how to practically steal the game. And I am now totally confused. Is buying an electric vehicle good for the environment or bad – (the whole bit with batteries made in China increasing pollution from coal and fossil fuels.)? Mike Pence gets the title of Mr. Religious. His Christianity scares me even though he deserves praise for his courage to do the right thing on January 6^th. I really liked Nikki Haley standing up for herself and all women confronting bullshit when she heard it and reminding us that the abortion issue isn’t all that simple. And who am I forgetting: the governor of NJ who seemed to get the most boos from the audience and the one who wasn’t there in person but whose invisible presence ruled the stage and ….?

I began with how to peel a Mango and morphed to fomo. It all happened on a Wednesday night in August when my TV didn’t understand how I could be watching Fox News for over two hours. It’s all about things that are beyond my understanding and skill level. It’s all about how tough it is to peel away the core values of our country – free and inclusive; bravely facing tough challenges; preserving the freedoms we believe we have; protecting the vulnerable; pursuing a sweeter tomorrow for all. I do have fomo; I am afraid my grandchildren will miss out on the America I was born into and I was blessed to live in to this day. I know what to do. Stand up; work for the causes I believe in; support candidates who model my values; vote. But I’m still afraid.

I want to talk about Grace. (Not in Kelly or in Will and ). But what we commonly think of as a very Christian concept that is really hard to define simply. I am coming from a couple of places: a sermon I heard at Faith Chapel in Cedar Mountain, NC and the waning of the moon as it becomes smaller and smaller so that the New Moon of the Hebrew Month of Elul can be born.

Faith Memorial Chapel is walkable from our summer home. It is this rustic and beautiful open-air structure with stone pillars and wooden pews, big green ferns hanging from the eaves and the sound of birds and the breeze mixing with the organ. It is open from Memorial Day to Labor Day and has an 11:00 AM service every Sunday that lasts one hour and no more. Once a summer (sometimes twice) I go to get a different dose of spirituality.

A few weeks ago, I heard a sermon about Grace and “yes” the final hymn was “Amazing Grace” – all four stanzas. The preacher was Reverend Ben Dorr from Westminster Presbyterian in Greenville, SC. (The Chapel brings in a different Minister every week of the summer mostly from the surrounding areas.) I don’t know him but name him for the simple reason that Jewish tradition demands when we quote someone, we identify them by name – maybe this is a piece of what we believe about immortality; or maybe this is just the right thing to do.

He talked about Jacob and his ladder dream culminating in God’s promise to Jacob that he and his descendants will inherit this land and will be blessed. The Pastor flat out said that Jacob really didn’t deserve this gift. He was running away from his family, and he had deceived his brother (Esau) twice. And who knows what else is hidden in the spaces between the letters in Genesis? Nevertheless, God blessed him. (“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me …”) It was an unexpected, undeserved gift. Many definitions state that it is the foundation of Christian faith.

I am not here to quibble; I am here to tell you “Yes” and “Yes” again. Grace is the basis of all faith whether you put God into the equation or not. And faith for me is not blind belief. Faith for me is feeling and appreciating the blessings in my life. Even those that are challenging, even those that are discreet; even those I don’t know about yet. Like existence itself. Like living to dance at Corey and Dani’s wedding celebration this weekend. Like waking to a sun rise whether it is pink and fluffy or grey and hidden. It is not taking any of this for granted because it can turn on a dime.

So, thank you Reverend Ben for reminding me to be grateful and reframing Jacob’s story. Sometimes you dream about ladders and when you wake angels bring you blessings; sometimes you dream, and you are wrestling with unnamed and unknown forces and when you wake you are limping. That’s life. And my challenge is to find the love in it all. The month of Elul begins this coming week. It invites us to prepare for the New Year and all it will bring. It invites us to find our own personal grace.