I’m waiting for Kohler to call me back. The kitchen faucet spray button has fallen off and I can’t get it re-attached. Neither can the very nice person at Ferguson who looked at it and said, “here is the model number and the name of the faucet. Try calling Kohler and see if they will replace the head.” After several attempts at sending me to their website, the automated voice command told me I had a 12-minute wait. I didn’t take that as a promise. Eventually they offered me one of those call back options when the next available customer service rep was available during normal business hours.
I am optimistic but realistic. So much about life is about waiting. On my good days I can transform my waiting into anticipating. Like right now I am anticipating that this is an exercise in futility. It turns out I am wrong. It turns out I have to take back all the negative thoughts I had about getting a return call. And I have to take back all the predictions that they wouldn’t do anything about my issue. Andrew called me back just now and asked that I send them a picture of the broken piece to their email address. They say they are replacing the head! Ten to twelve business days. I can wait that long.
And then the phone rings again. Well, it doesn’t actually ring. Cell phones sing; cell phones buzz; cell phones chime; they make tonal music. But it doesn’t matter. In an instant the minutia of kitchen faucets became inane. The other side of the line (although there is no line anymore) was in crisis. It jolted me back to how tenuous our existence. How true the Yiddish saying that roughly translates into: We plan; God laughs. How we think we are in control of our lives, and we can expect things to evolve in the order we have programmed – but – we all know – life is unpredictable, and the art of living is managing the unexpected.
That brings us back to waiting. We expect our lives to progress in an even course. My Aunt Molly whose life was filled with sadness would say: Don’t kid yourself- we are all just waiting for the other shoe to drop. In Jewish tradition we know about that other shoe just as we know about waiting. Some of us wait in-between eating milk and meat. We wait after a loved one has died before resuming our everyday routine. We wait for Yom Kippur to end so we can break our fast. We wait for the Messiah to change the arc of history. We wait for humanity to live up to its potential.
There is an argument about the characteristics of waiting. Do we just wait and anticipate that there will be a Divine intervention, or do we fill our waiting hours with learning moments finding patience and clarity as we hone into a new perspective about ourselves and the quality of life around us. Waiting it turns out is not passive. It gives us room to grow and time to process the unexpected. Waiting gives us opportunity to change paths; to deepen our experience of the now; to be surprised or disappointed; to feel.
I’m getting a new faucet. It’s the little things, you know.
I
rabbiunplugged 
I just want you to know how much I enjoy reading these. And in this one I felt Grandma (we plan, God laughs) and Aunt Molly.
Give my love to Aunt Eileen. Hope to connect soon.
I love you. Beth
Beth Kozlowski
Marketing Lead, Americas
Advanced Manufacturing BDPM and STARs Team Lead
Beth.Kozlowski@ramboll.comBeth.Kozlowski@ramboll.com
Ramboll
7600 Morgan Road
Liverpool, NY 13090
USA
https://ramboll.comhttps://ramboll.com/?utm_source=tfyesm-email-US&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-signature
Classification: Confidential
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Thoughtful. Thanks. Blessings, Tom
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I don’t know if it’s the little things. I actually think it’s the big things. Since cancer, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop every time I see a doc. And waiting? I don’t have time to wait. I have my “to do” list that gets edited every couple of days. It just seems to grow instead of get smaller. It keeps me up at night. Thank you ou for unplugged. It always makes me think
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Loved this. Wish I had known Aunt Molly.
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Beautifully said. And so true.
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“The art of living is managing the unexpected.” A beautiful quote and approach to life.
As we have moved recently my wife decided, or the size of our main living space has dictated, that we get all new stuff. We have also decided if we were getting new stuff, we also replace all appliances (my suggestion actually). It’s like that notion, you can’t just paint one spot. It looks so good you have to paint the whole thing. Something like that.
So, we are off to the races (i.e. appliance stores, furniture storesss, even mattress stores). We knocked heads a few times, but in the end made some wonderful choices. In anticipation of the arrival and installation of our purchases (which could be deduced as our “plan”) it all went wrong. So far almost every item we had ordered was either damaged, a few inches longer, not the color on the photo online, etc. etc. These were not inexpensive items either. Our refrigerator freezer door was dented. My office desk was black although the photo online was charcoal grey and was not described as “black”. Our couch, the linch pin of our living room, arrived 4 inches longer than described. And, the description and instructions of the master bedroom armoires were sadly inept and not meant for a mere human, no matter how skillful.
Now comes more madness. 45 days later the refrigerator (the price of some compact cars) – freezer door replacement first came as the refrigerator door! Had to return the box the size of a coffin. Then the next one arrived a few weeks later that had another dent!! Still waiting for new, un-dented, freezer door (2 months after installation). My desk was on sale so no return or refund on that. I’ll have to live with black. Now to our couch… due to the “blue tape” exercise we did with my colleague who is an interior designer the size we ordered had to be precise, or let’s say… correct. Why would I not expect “correct.” It came too LONG. Same SKU number, same at the store we saw it and online. Frustration be what it is, it made me revise my expectations. It occurred to me that we live in a world of attrition (a strong word, but that’s how it feels). A world with little oversight, little quality control and the manufacturers are aware and prepared for it.
I have come to expect that everything we order (albeit 75% of it) is going to be wrong. It is going to take 25%-50% longer to get everything right. In the past, I would stew in anger and angst between the waiting, not learn-ed enough to exercise patience, clarity and perspective. Now, I just brush it off as business as usual. I can’t wait to have lunch and discuss this new perspective. –Andrew Levy
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Loved this. Wish I’d known Aunt Molly.
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You are so right life is about waiting. Five years ago my brother had a stroke that should’ve killed him. However, he died three weeks ago. I stayed with my sister-in-law for two weeks to make sure she would be OK living alone for the first time in 43 years And I came home last Friday night and Saturday morning. I got a call that one of my favorite aunts had just died. Her funeral was yesterday and today. I woke up and realized that my mother died exactly 42 years ago today and now I am waiting to see if my life goes back to my new normal , or if another shoe yet will drop: oh, I don’t have any other shoes so I guess I have to hope for normalcy. I loved your article and I love you and your wife take care Sharon Morton.
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I love this. Simple and true
Thanks!
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I love your writing and your thoughtful perspective in life.
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Last year, at the end of Covid, I had the “joy” of being on hold with an un-named air line in Canada. I say “joy” because the insipid music and announcements are now an integral part of my being. It is now like a zen journey into the 4th dimension. It also allowed me to (1) read the entire sports section and editorial section and forum section of my local news paper. (2)read 3 chapters of a current book I was reading and (3) work on and solve two crossword puzzles.
At the end of the time a person of unknown mother tongue told me (I think) that he could not help me but would transfer my call to another department.
“And so it goes”
Larry
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